forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize