So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
