you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
