i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
