I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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