so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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