So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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