Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
