Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
