I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
