Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
