I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I supernannyed him into submission
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
