Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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