no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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