Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize