i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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