My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize