I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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