i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
