Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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