Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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