Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
