I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
