i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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