ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I want to be your penis for a week.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
