Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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