i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
