she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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