Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
