party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
