he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
