Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
