tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
