so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
