But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
