he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
a search helicopter?!
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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