Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
