Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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