i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
