I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
