I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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