Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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