literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
