You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize