Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
