OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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