Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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