If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
