9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
