I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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