I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
