The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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