how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
