What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
