someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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