hotel room ftw
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
