He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
