Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
