He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
